So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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