Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize