Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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