Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
