he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She needs sedatives and a leash
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
