all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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