Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
