Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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