this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I have post one night stand depression
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