Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
