we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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