You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
