Barsexuality is the new black.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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