I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
