You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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