Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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