why didn't you poke me back
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
