Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
