Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
