hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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