he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm at about main and main street
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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