I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
