We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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