No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
