You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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