Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
only you would photoshop your dick
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
