For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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