It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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