once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
