YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
