You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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