Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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