We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
