no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
