she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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