did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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