There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
