all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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