the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
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