she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
