Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
