No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
