Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm getting married
To pizza
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
