Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
