i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I think your dad took our porno
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
