i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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