so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
