Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
