this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
