Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
