What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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