Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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