Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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